Tuesday, September 09, 2008

(Mis) Adventures in Travel

Yeah, it's been a long time. Working and back in school, so it's been pretty crazy lately.

But anyway, I went to DC during Labor Day Weekend to visit my little brother, who's going to grad school up there. I have fam all over the DMV too, so it was great to see them and spend time with them as well.

Also, one BIG shout out to Leon from Listen To Leon. The historical meetup of the two Leons occurred in Adams Morgan. We went bar hopping and spent time chillin at Grand Central, talking over beers. We also saw a drunk asshole get kicked out of a coffeeshop/bar and mooned the guy that kicked him out. Klassy, time to go.

Well, it was great once I finally got up there, but getting up there was Pure. D. HELL. Lemme tell you the story...

First, I was supposed to roll up to DC with a co-worker of mine who was from the area. I was going to help with the 10 hr drive and help with the gas. And after a few days, fly back (she was coming back to Georgia earlier than I was). Yes, I was too cheap to buy a roundtrip ticket, shoot me. Well actually, I had to pay an auto insurance bill and driving legal comes before the bullshit, so there it is.

Well, there was quite a bit of miscommunication. The co-worker was rolling with her sister, but there were all these other people who were coming too, so there was no room in the inn for me. Meanwhile, I had bought the plane ticket to get back here to Georgia ("Yeah, go on, get the ticket!"). So yeah, it was my presumptive, donkey ass fault, oh well. She gave me a bootleg apology card she printed off hte computer, so I guess I'm supposed to be cool...

Luckily, it's great to know a lot of people that have your back, because a family friend that works for the airline got me a buddy pass to fly up to DC. Praise God for that right?

I get to the airport super early because if you've never flown on a buddy pass before, you have to fly standby. I woke up at O'dark Thirty to get to ATL airport, and got to my gate and saw that I was cleared to fly.

Well, I get on the plane, we take off, I'm chillin, watching "Family Guy" on my iPod. It was the episode in which Peter had his stroke, so I'm laughing my black ass off in the plane. It was an early morning flight, so I tried to be quiet as possible, but fuck that, that episode is hilarious.

Well, 45 minutes into the flight I hear this:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, uh this is your captain speaking and uh, we have to turn back around to Atlanta, uh, due to a pressurization problem with the plane. Uh, we have to have a mechanic take a look at it, so prepare for landing, blah, blah, uh, blah"

Well, that took totally fucked up my mood! Pressurization?! I was breathing okay...Here I am in a plane and hearing about mechanical problems, so I was kind of scared shitless when I heard that.

We land back in Atlanta in one piece, and wait for the mechanic to board the plane. About 2 minutes later, we hear the flight attendant over the PA:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this flight has been cancelled. Please exit the plane, and we are sorry for the inconvenience this has caused you, and have a great holiday weekend"

Have a great holiday weekend? Fuck you!

Now ya'll know that plane was fucked up before they even started the engines. I guess it's better to be safe than sorry, and obviously, I'm still alive, typing on this computer.

As soon as I walk back in the terminal, I get a call from my aunt waiting at DC's airport for me. I explain the situation and tell her I'll get there when I can.

And if you've ever flown out of Atlanta, you know what an absolutely fucking madhouse it is on a regular day, let alone the Friday before Labor Day. Everyone goes over to the agent/customer service area (I don't even think I have to mention the airline I flew, but if you've flown in ATL and got bumped or had a flight cancelled, you know what and where I'm talking about) to get rebooked. I go to the gate for the next flight out to DC Reagan, and I was number 45 on the standby list. Don't forget, on a buddy pass, paying passengers have first priority and all those other folks were trying to get rebooked too, so I watched myself drop from #45 to #48 to #55 on the list. So much for that.

Thank God I didn't check my baggage. I would've been up shit creek.

So I get on the list for the next flight out. No dice, #28 on that list and falling. So I go to the gate for the next flight out. The ticket agent said "Man, you ain't gettin outta till tonight! You better find a way to get to Baltimore or Dulles" Duh, there sure are 2 other airports in the DC Urrea...

I got back into the line of hell to call the agent to get my ticket rebooked to Baltimore or Dulles. There were 22 seats available on the next flight out to B-more, so I got on that standby list.

Meanwhile, waiting to see if I got on the standby list, I look on the TV to see that McCain has selected Caribou Barbie to be his running mate. My nerves were already shot, so seeing this pissed me off even more. Old spiteful repugnantcans, and all the hilbillies in the gate area got this sort of glazed over look of happiness on their faces. What in the blue fuck? damn, moving to Japan to teach English is looking better than ever...Just let me get on the cleared list.

I see my name on the cleared list and I got on the flight to B-More. I sat in the bulkhead, so there was no way to let the armreast up, but fuck it, I was on my way!


I get on the shuttle to take the train to get down to Union Station in DC for my aunt to pick me up.

I board the train and sit and relax. I'm finally in Maryland, so I was way closer than where I was earlier.

And then...

AND THEN...

...The fucking train BREAKS DOWN


Damn, it really wasn't meant for me to come up to this muthafucka this weekend was it?.

We sit there at the Bowie State station waiting for the train to rev itself back up, or whatever it had to do. Meanwhile, the train car I was in had a bunch of kids, and they started getting scared because it was dark in the train. I just breathed deeply and listened to my iPod.

After what seemed to be an eternity, but really only 20 minutes or so, the train powers itself back up and we creeped and crawled into DC Union Station. I swear I saw someone riding a bicycle riding faster than the train did.

I get out the train to see if my aunt was outside, but she wasn't. I call and call and call, no answer. I went back into Union Station's massive food court and chilled for a minute. I should've got a beer from the bar to calm down after all that, but I was hungry as hell, cause I got nothing but a cookie on the plane, so I went to the Sbarro.

I call my cousin to see if she knew where my aunt was, but she didn't know either. But I get another call from her a few minutes later.

"Leon! Ro had to go to the emergency room, something happened to her eye! You better find another way to get over to the house! We'll pick you up from the Metro station". Right as I hung up, and trying to find the metro station and figure out if how I transferred from the Red line to whatever line to get out to PG County, my aunt calls me and says "I'm around the corner, be ready" What? After she fucked up her eye? Well true to her word, she was there within a few minutes. Covering up her eye with some damn tissue the hospital gave her.

"When I got back from waiting for yo ass at the airport, I went home to work on my garden, and some damn mulch popped in my eye"

The mulch hit her eye and scratched her cornea.

Oh yeah, and did I mention it was raining when I got up there? And we damn near got hit by a car on I-395 on our way down to PG County?

As soon as we got to my aunt and uncle's house, I went to sleep. I told my brother I'd meet him tomorrow. I was terrified if I went somewhere, the damn car would've broke down. Tomorrow is another day, fuck it!

The next day, I went to the Newseum, and went over to U Street and ate some Ethiopian food with my brother and pretty much hung out and explored the city all day. Later on, my cousin Nae-Nae took us out to a Go-Go club out in Maryland. Good times, good times.

And we ate like hogs on Labor Day. My aunt cooked up a storm (her eye was okay by then). Crab legs, ribs, burgers, the whole 9 yards. She had 4 burners going on the stove, and had the damn indoor grill going in the middle of the kitchen.

All this and her house was being redone all damn weekend too.

Early Tuesday morning, I flew back home. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 6 am, but we couldn't take off until 7 because of a noise curfew. I was an hour late getting back to Atlanta to work, but no big deal.

In spite of all the craziness, I'm glad I got to spend time with the folks, and DC is definitely on my short list of cities I plan on eventually relocating to.

And how was your weekend?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I'm going to hell for laughing at this...

...but this was funny:



Oh, and this one too (look at the woman behind the Pastor):

Friday, June 13, 2008

Damn Friday the 13th

R. Kelly was found not guilty?!

God, I hate people. Stupid ass star struck juries...I have no faith in the justice system.

I might write more about this later, but this kinda pissed me off...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Yeah, I'm still here...

Coming out of lurk mode to let ya'll know that I ain't dead or nothin. Just busy as hell at the plantation. We're working 10-hour workdays 4 days a week, but hey, 3-Day weekends all summer for me! Too bad gas is as high as it is, cause I pretty much just chill at the house if I can help it! Really, I'm bout to go around my complex and siphoning gas, I swear!

My boss is on maternity leave, so i've been the HNIC so to speak at my job [temporarily]. Had to run a meeting about fall publications (catalogs, flyers, brochures, etc.) with the program coordinators. I was editing so much stuff with my Evil Red Pen, whenever I closed my eyes to go to sleep, I was seeing big red marks.

After realizing all the responsibilities I have now, I sat down and thought about how this time last year, I was unemployed, mad at the world and fearing that I had to move back to Mississippi with my tail tucked between my legs.

What a difference a year makes.

I set goals for myself and I'm actually achieving them. Boggles the mind, huh?

Oh Yeah, I also passed my math test that I needed to take, so all I have to do now is apply for my teaching certification to be certified as an English Teacher for the State of Georgia. Even though I'm in a career where I'm pretty much doing what I wanted, it never fails to have a Plan B. Since I'm almost through with school, I'm going to try and see if I can be adjunct faculty at the school I work at, so I can have more than one paycheck coming in. Gotta grind, y'know?

Things that made me smile today:

The iPhone 3G is coming in July (drools like Homer Simpson). And it's going to be cheaper too! (really drooling now)

And seeing this for some reason made me smile a bit too. Yeah, the show was crap, but talk about some memories. Darn those folks from Stuff Black People Hate for making me remember this!



Oh come the heck on, like ya'll don't remember that show!


On a totally unrelated note:

A small part of me is thinking about shutting this blog down. I don't know. A lot of the stuff I was writing about in the past came from a deep dark place in me. However, ranting and raving is my catharsis, so I'm probably just talking crazy right now. But don't worry, I may have a few tricks up my sleeve ;-)

Monday, May 26, 2008

School Daze

Watched School Daze at one of my friend's house Sunday. Great movie, though a bit exaggerated and heavy-handed at times. And if you ain't seen it, hand me your black card!

Rumor has it that Spike Lee may do a sequel to School Daze, which I'd think would be a bad idea*. Hell, If he thinks he can get away with that shitty idea, I might as well add in some shitty casting:


Lil Bow Wow as Half-Pint
Omarion as Julian
Chris Brown as Dap
Beyonce as Jane
Kelly Rowland as Rachel
Don 'DC' Curry as Coach Odom


Oh, and while we're at it, have Tyler Perry direct it, so Cheryl "Pepsii" Riley can sing her interpretation of the "Wake Up" scene at the end (written, produced, arranged, and catered by Tyler Perry of course).

I mean, can you imagine Beyonce and Kelly singing "Straight and Nappy"?




I think I'd rather undergo another circumcision than to hear them attempt to do that...and this is coming from someone who is alright with Beyonce (I'm neither a stan nor a 'hater'), but really...

Let me take my insomniac havin ass to bed. Happy Memorial Day folks!

*okay, Spike Lee might do a good job with the sequel, but I just don't see the point of one...but then again, what do I know?